Episode Two- Tight Pants

Alliances to this point:

Tieshaunn, Marshall, Michael

Melis, Ke’Keyshah, Angelique, Bẻibhinn

Kylie, Ulysses

“I’m in good shape. I formed the biggest alliance in the game so far, which makes me its official leader. Why don’t I try to recruit more ladies?”~Melis

“Okay, I’m back, and no one wants to join my alliance. What’s their freakin’ problem!?”~Melis

After elimination last night, Kylie felt like calling Dior, her French boyfriend from Season Two.

“Okay, Kylie, you can do this. Just because he’s back in Bordeaux, doesn’t mean he’ll like you any worse," she coached herself. She took a breath, and dialed *1. He was on speed dial.

“Parlez-moi!” the voice on the other end answered.

“It’s me. I don’t speak French, though.”

“Kylie?” Dior said in amazement. “Wow, I thought you would be on the show by now.”

“Yeah, I am. I just felt like calling. You’re okay with that, right?”

“Yes, uh… wow. It’s just; it’s kind of a bad time. I’m having dinner with my parents. They don’t like you.”

“Um, what?”

“Parlez-vous à cet américain crasseux ?” A sharp voice on the other end of Dior’s phone hurt Kylie’s eardrums.

“What did they say about me, Dior?” Kylie was very upset.

“Non, mere,” Dior said to his mother. In a rushed and quiet tone, he said, “They called you filthy. Gotta go. Love ya.”

Kylie hung up the phone in tears.

THE NEXT DAY

In the morning, Kylie was still very upset from last night’s phone call. When she met with Ulysses for their strategy session, he could tell something was wrong.

“Kylie, is there something you want to tell me?”

“Uh… It’s just my boyfriend. His parents don’t really approve of me.”

“How bad can it be?” Ulysses asked.

“They called me trash.”

“Oh.” Ulysses was silent. “Maybe you should talk to him.”

“Sure, wait, no, wait, ugh! What if he’s with his mom?”

“Maybe I could talk to him, to make sure?” Ulysses volunteered.

“That would be awkward, but it just might work.

Ulysses took Kylie’s phone and dialed *1.

“Parlez-moi!” came Dior’s voice.

“Hi, you don’t know me, but are you with your parents?”

“No. At least I hope they’re not listening. Is this about Kylie?”

“Yeah, but I gotta go.” Ulysses abruptly hung up the phone.

“He said he was busy, but don’t worry, you can cry on my shoulder.” Ulysses offered.

“Oh. Thanks.” She put her head in his arms.

Ulysses smirked.

“So, Kylie, how's about we do some recruiting?” She was still a bit down, but her response was a mellow, “Sure.”

“After the recruiting, we have Chandler, Cassie, and Citlali. I feel good! Whoop!”~Ulysses

CHALLENGE

“Welcome. Not that I ENJOY any of you being here, because you're all ROBOTS, but welcome. By the way, Kylie and Kal, you guys look so cute together! Anywho, you thought last challenge was hard, wait until you see THIS challenge!” Jeff said while heartily laughing at this contestants' struggles. “So, it's a ROLLER DERBY! You skate, you punch, you choke, you get out of breath, all while I drink coffee; let me tell ya now, life is unfair! No rules, you just gotta use your B-R-AIIINS!” Jeff said it as if it was a new and unfamiliar word.

Mary got a head start, and decided to be violent. She immediately slammed Ke'Keyshah into Jon. They both fell down.

Melis took advantage of the confusion and decided to sprint into first place.

Wilburn, however, followed quickly behind her, and they were soon deadlocked, shoving each other, neither one able to move ahead.

“Oh, Abner, I love you so.” Alisha was talking to her idol, Abner Bailey Jones, as if he was there.

Sonia, who had been quiet so far, moved right behind Melis and Wilburn.

Tieshaunn, who was tired of the closeness, punched Melis, who fell into Wilburn, and they tripped Sonia. Teishaunn moved quietly into first.

Royle distracted everyone by singing his horrible stylings, and passed Mary, who had kept up her early lead.

STANDINGS SO FAR:

First- Tieshaunn

Second- Royle

Third- Mary

Marshal is blind, so he couldn't see when he punched both Royle and Mary out accidentally, (“What did I hit?”) moving on up into second.

Tieshaunn got angry, screaming “You will NOT move ahead of me!” knocking Marshal out in a surprise attack. Currently, Tieshaunn is the only frontrunner, and Jeff suddenly announced, “Last lap!”. Everyone but Tieshaunn screamed “That's unfair!” Jeff replied “Life is unfair!”

Wilburn got up, hurried to the finish line, chanting “Gotta make it... breathe, man... beat Mr. Corn... I hate corn...”

But it was too late. Tieshaunn had won.

“Guys, time to have discussions!” Jeff yelled harshly.

CITLALI

“Welcome to Chapter Two of My Cherokee Life. This time, we're focusing on treaties, or 'alliances,' as the teens call them here. I have made alliances in the past; they weren't very pretty. I hope the situation with Ulysses is different.”

JON AND SONIA

“Hey, Jon is it?” Sonia asked.

“Yes, my name is Jon. What's up?” Jon answered.

“Well, the winners from past seasons were all from the biggest alliance in the game. We need to form one, and there'll be some cute rebellion, but we'll crush it.”

“I'm not so sure about this...”

“I'll throw in a date.”

“Deal.”

“I don't mind Jon. He's not great, but he's the best guy here besides Kal. But Kal's nice, so I don't wanna date him.” ~Sonia

“So, who should we vote off?”

“What about Ke'Keyshah?”

“Fine by me.”

TIESHAUNN'S ALLIANCE

“We did it, dude; we're in power!” Micheal screamed.

“Whoa, watch the yellin', man. Since I'm blind, I have an overdeveloped sense of hearing. It's like you were right at my ear. Man, that hurt.” Marshal whined.

“Well, sorry, bro, but I'm just stoked! Who should we try to send off, O Mighty Leg?”

“Someone from the Girl's Alliance. I'm thinking Bẻibhinn. Is that cool?” Tieshaunn responded.

“On it!” Micheal screamed.

GIRLS ALLIANCE

“I don't know who Tieshaunn is going for, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be one of us. So, why don't we put Ulysses in the bottom and try to convince Tieshaunn to get him off?” Melis proposed.

“That's tight! So tight, that if that was pants, they would be stuck on my big butt right now, am I right?” Ke'Keyshah blurted.

Everyone stared at her.

ULYSSES' ALLIANCE

“ULYSSES!” Kylie screamed.

“What? What? Sorry.” Ulysses came back to earth.

“You were like, completely zoned out!”

“Oh, that! I just had a vision! God has allowed me to see what Tieshaunn was talking about! He wants one of the girls gone!”

“Great!” Kylie gave him a high-five. “But, wait, who exactly are they voting for?”

“Bẻibhinn,” Ulysses answered. “So, why don't we put another log on the fire?” They all stared at him blankly. “I meant, why don't we vote for another one of the girls? Maybe Ke'Keyshah?”

“That works!” Kylie sputtered, excited that things were going her way.

TOE CEREMONY

Ulysses- Ke'Keyshah

Chico- Ulysses

Melis- Ulysses

Sonia- Ke'Keyshah

Chandler- Ke'Keyshah

Jon- Ke'Keyshah

Liza- Bẻibhinn

Kal- Ke'Keyshah

Shiitore- Chico

Mary- Ulysses

Cassie- Ke'Keyshah

Angelique- Ulysses

Bẻibhinn- Ulysses

Ke’Keyshah- Ulysses

Linda- Bẻibhinn

Citlali- Ke'Keyshah

Sal- Ulysses

Alisha- Kylie

Wilburn- Ulysses

Michael- Bẻibhinn

Marshal- Bẻibhinn

Royle- Ke'Keyshah

“So, let's say goodbye to either Ke'Keyshah, Ulysses, or Bẻibhinn. They need to LEARN, cuz if they don't they're gonna fail. In life.”

OUTING

“This is interesting. Ke'Keyshah, I was thinking about voting Bẻibhinn off, but you might be in danger. And Ulysses, voting you off would put four other people on my back, and who says we can't form an alliance between our two alliances? Anyway, I'm not going to ask any of you anything, I'd rather decide myself.” Tieshaunn announced.

ELIMINATION

“Hey, guys, I wanna start off by saying I'm sorry, and that it's a tough decision. I'm gonna send Ulysses back. Keeping him is just the obvious right decision.

“So, with that, I think Ke'Keyshah could be a strong competitor, so she has to go.”

“Yo. Not tight. I guess the pants have loosened up a little. Time to take them off.”~Ke'Keshah